Age Based Understanding of Death

Infant

Infants lack any understanding of the concept of death, therefore its impact on them is limited to the reactions it incites within their environment. Infants can sense and will react too changes in their environment brought to fruition by the death and therefore absence of a caregiver. Therefore, when there is one less caregiver around and the remaining caretaker is grieving the infant will pick-up on these emotions and changes and there are repercussions to this. In response to these changes babies 0-6 months old are prone to experience feelings of abandonment and insecurity upon the passing of a caregiver which manifest respond in increased crying and disruption to sleep and feeding patterns. Come 8 months of age infants will develop a feeling of loss around the death of a caregiver and are capable of missing the individuals and will respond with increased crying, withdrawal, loss of interest in food/toys, and verbally calling for the deceased caregiver.

Toddlers

Toddlers also lack an understanding of the concept of death, with the word holding little meaning or relevance in their minds. Toddler's do not understand the permanence of death and therefore will often expect the deceased caregiver to return, verbally requesting their presence and asking about their whereabouts. Like infants the toddler will be highly impacted by despondent adults surrounding them and will respond with feelings of depression, anger, and fear regardless of their lack of complete comprehension of the situation at hand.

Pre-Schoolers

Preschool aged children, 3 to 5 year olds, begin to have a better comprehension of the concept of death. By this age children begin to use the word death and understand that there is a difference between being dead and alive. However, like toddlers this age range still can not understand that everyone will die and that death is permeant. Toddlers believe death is reversible similar to how it is depicted in cartoons and will expect the deceased individual to return. Children at this age are curious about death, especially because they can understand that adults fear it and will therefore begin to ask questions about the topic. When answering these questions avoid terms such as "lost", "asleep", or "gone away" as this age range will interpret these terms literally, replace these terms with simple, honest answers. Children at this age's imagination will lead them to take responsibility if a sibling dies and will somehow attribute their brother or sister's death to some action they took. To prevent this stick to the explanations of death recommended above and ensure children they are not responsible in any way. At this age kids will continue to react to the death of a caregiver with disrupted sleep, changes in appetite along with new responses including loss of interest in play, separation anxiety from familiar adults, and regression of skills like potty training and language.

By the time children reach 5-7 years they come to the understanding that death is both permanent and irreversible. Due to this new found knowledge, children with a caregiver who passed away before this age will now have the capacity to grieve and experience the emotions of loss. Like preschool aged children, school aged children have a tendency to feel responsible for the death of a loved one which leads to intense feelings of guilt. This makes it essential for parents of children in this age range to reassure their offspring they are in no way responsible for the individual's death. Furthermore, it is necessary to explain death in an age appropriate manner and encourage children to ask questions to prevent kids from filling gaps in knowledge with their imagination and assumptions. At this time kids are able to understand that death is inevitable and often begin to feel anxious about both their own and loved one's health and safety.

School-Aged Children

Death affects teenagers in a much different manner than younger children. Teens are at the stage in development where they are beginning the transition from dependence to independence, grief impacts the teens ability to complete this transition. Support from peers with lived experience can greatly support teens enabling them to still make the transition to independence. Upon experiencing the death of a loved one teens often react with withdrawal, risk taking behaviors, and seizing the role of caregiver to take care of grieving family. By this point these kids will also have their own understanding and beliefs around death and will challenge any other beliefs presented to them. Furthermore, if a teen was bereaved as a child they may have to re-process their grief again during this stage as the impact of the individual's death on their lives becomes fully apparent.

Teenagers